Sunday, July 17, 2011

Stick A Needle In My Eye

GUESS WHAT. There is a new thing wrong with me, and it gets better, it's on my face. For months now I have been trying and trying to get rid of these white bumps around my eyes. There is nothing like a one little grain-of-rice-sized imperfection to set me off. I have done research and concluded that they are called milia and are fucking annoying. Most people recommend going to a dermatologist to get them removed but that takes time and money. Websites say that you can remove them yourself with a needle, but it can prove to be to painful. Maybe I'm just a whimp (ok, I'm a huge whimp) but in my opinion its extremely painful. As much as it pains me also to have the thought in the back of my mind that i know they are always there on my face, I can't find the courage to stab my face with a needle (maybe you would call that smart, not stabbing your face with a needle that is). Not to mention they are right next to my eye and I very well may get a needle in my eye if I'm not careful.

here you guys go. I tried to take a picture of myself where maybe you could see the bumps, but they don't come out well in any of the pictures I took. Well if you squint you may be able to see the two little bumps on my left eye at the inner corner, but i dunno. you probably are thinking I am making a mountain out of a mole hill which i sort of am, but they truly are there! I wouldn't make this up.

There are too many things too count that I could find wrong with myself. I think my nose is too big:

I am on the right.

See, see what I mean? maybe you do, or maybe you would say there is nothing to worry about, or maybe frankly, you don't give a damn. I am trying to learn not to obsess about the little things but it's hard. I almost killed myself (yes I am very serious) over things like this. I am not crazy, well not like psycho, but I just tend to have a very addictive personality, criticizing myself and trying to correct it became an addiction. Maybe what I am talking about doesn't make any sense right now but I will do my best to explain later, because it's a story for a whole other time. until then I will try to find the beauty in myself that makes me proud, and to anyone who comes across this i wish you the same. If you are completely confident with yourself then I admire you, if your not then I suggest go listening to that eminem song, "beautiful", because it is so true.

You are beautiful, cross my heart hope to die stick a needle in my eye :)

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